Which side do you take???
In the New York Times, in the debate column there is a section called "When Divorce is a Family Affair". Vicki Larson debates with Beverly Willett about divorce and the effects on the kids. I focused on the section Salvaging a Marriage Saves children vs Trapped Parents aren't happy parents. In Larson section about Salvaging a Marriage, she talks about how parents should stay together for their kids even if they are having troubles because the effects it can have on the kids if their parents get a divorce can be bad. She feels, if couples stop trying in their marriages, then they are not teaching their children about good relationships and how will they be able to identify with their own potential instead of failures. In Willett's section about Trapped parents, she talks about parents staying together for their kids can be bad because the child can see through it and it doesn't show the kids a good relationship. She feels that parents do not do their child any favors by staying in a dysfunctional marriage.
I found it interesting to read about the two different opinion's about divorce and whether parents should stay together. I though both sides brought up good points about each side. I understand, why Larson wanted the parents to try to stick it out for the kids because of the negative effects divorce can have on the children. But I agree more with Willett opinion. Though children can suffer a lot from a divorce, I think its worse having the parents stick it out and argue with each other because the kids can see right through that, and i feel they would feel more guilty for their parents unhappiness since the parents are only staying together for them. I think staying together and arguing does show a good relationship and might give the children the wrong idea how a relationship works.
I thought this was really interesting. I still am unsure which side I would take. I think I might be somewhere in the middle. I think for parents with young children it might be more beneficial to try to stay together. I do agree that older children would see through the relationship and it might be better for the parents to divorce. I think it is a hard decision for any parents. In my opinion, I think it might be best for parents to wait until the child is slightly older to divorce or wait until the child can fully understand it.
ReplyDeleteI think that this is a really hard question to ask, is it better to have a child in a broken home or in two homes. The hardest question is how it will effect the child in the end. I believe that parents should try as hard as possible because once there is divorce, the kid will not see their parents equally (or they may not see one at all). I believe keeping the family together is best. On the other hand, if there is some sort of violence then the child should not be subjected to that either. I don't think that a clear cut answer can be given to such a complex question. I believe that this question must be asked for each case.
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